I can't be bothered/Lump of no progress

Depression is more common than a lot of people think it is.
We all have different ways of dealing with our issues - some of us fail to find a way to cope with the challenges life throws at us and some of us keep fighting with a bold, brave exterior to the outside world. In whatever you're going through you're not alone. There is someone, somewhere going through a very similar situation as you, the difference being the exact circumstances obviously and how you deal with the problem.

As much as we'd all like to think we are completely unique in this world, we're a lot more similar than we are different. That spark that does make you different is not ignited from birth. Something has to trigger it and if depression is in the way then you'll find yourself quenching it; you'll be likely to fall slave to a monotonous, dead mind frame ; the joys and passions in your life may end up taking a back seat and those heavy heart/weary mind feelings may end up taking the steering wheel.

Depression is the ultimate enemy. Look around, when do people fall? When there isn't enough positivity juice fueling their motivation tank.

Having a breakdown does not make you weak. Crying and feeling overwhelmed and stressed does not make you any less capable. The potential in you is still VERY much present but you are blocking it off by YOURSELF. You only live once. You only have one life to show your potential.

If half of the people that scream YOLO really did believe in it then most of them would be millionaires, they'd be grabbing life and running with it at full pelt. They'd be over the horizon of success before you could even ask them to take you with them. They would actively be making the most of only living once and not just saying it.

You SERIOUSLY don't have time to be feeling down and disheartened. I'm not telling you to ignore the pain that your heart/mind may be suffering from- that would be fatal. What I am saying is quickly and efficiently deal with the issue or it will eat you up before your prime. We only get one shot at this life.

I personally don't believe in re-incarnation so for me this really is my only chance and the Lord knows I'm going through my own challenges but you have to remember that you are bigger than your challenges. It's your own mind that tells you that you're not.

'The heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it?' - Bible quote.

My friends, the mind is desperately wicked too and it needs to be tamed. It is disgustingly easy for a human to fall into the claws of depression, the mind actually tends to like it because it's a place where you don't have to come up with solutions, a place where your mind can prop it's feet up and let your emotions and body wreak havoc on you as an individual. It is a place of excuses. It is a place that is NOT for you.

When I say this I am being very serious : You need to train your mind.
We weren't given a detailed step by step instruction manual for this life. You teach yourself and allow other influences to teach you.

Be the first to get to your mind and let it know that you're in charge. When you don't want to do that essay or when you can't be bothered to get out of bed just realise that your mind is single handedly and directly affecting your actions. You CAN and WILL do that essay. You CAN and WILL get out of bed. Who is in control? You or that lazy part of the mind I personally call 'the lump of no progress'?

We all have a lump of no progress. Get that chisel or better yet, a hammer and HACK.AT.THAT.LUMP.
Please be aware that that was metaphorical, I am NOT advising you to physically mash your brain to a pulp.
Get rid of that lazy mentality and get back on track.
That's all depression is; an advanced form of laziness. Depression is the act of letting the lump of no progress take control.

'It's not that easy! You don't understand what I'm going through!' You cry, tears rolling down your cheeks.
You're right. I probably don't. But I can bet you that's your lump of no progress crying, not you.

You ONLY live once.

Love Cilla xxxx
For personal advice email cillacasey@live.co.uk
Twitter : @CillaCasey

#FFFLadies

Hey guys, It's March! :)

Quite a few people have been asking how I got into music so I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you :) Enjoy !

I wrote my first rap when I was 15. It was about 10 o'clock and I was on the phone to my close friend when I made a joke about 'Pinocchio's nose'.
'Cilla' she laughed. 'How the heck did you come up with that?'
'I don't know' I replied, frowning my face. 'Was it really that funny?'
'Yes! You're a joker!' and she laughed on for a minute or two. I shrugged and laughed too.

I had never thought of doing rap but before I went to bed I scribbled down some lyrics on a scrap of paper. The next morning I jumped onto my parents bed and woke them up. As they screwed their faces and grumbled I straightened out my piece of paper and began to read my lyrics out loud.
'see people living the microwave life. boom boom boom, like uncle bens rice'
'I like that' replied my Mum, 'but why not jollof rice?'

I sat on that rap for a few months. I wrote others but I had no intention of recording them. Then in steps the new head teacher. He wanted to push the school forward in the directions of technology advancement. Out went the bulky computer monitors and in came the apple macs, in came the new projectors and most importantly for me, in came the new recording studio. Walking past it a few times I considered having a go on the mic but never booked a session.

When I'd finally knocked up enough courage I asked the technician if I could book a session. He promised to slot me right in and I was told the date and time. The day to record soon came and picking two friends to come with me, I laid my lyrics on the stand and quaking in my boots I began to rap. I was shaking like a leaf. The track ended and I opened my eyes. The technician swiveled round on his chair, mouth opened and clapped for me. My friends, just as surprised, started to clap too.
My 'thank you' was barely audible.
The technician took off his headphones and came up to the glass.
'Pinnochios nose? Wow!' he said nodding his head.

A few days later the new female technician stopped me at the reception.
'I heard your song! I loved it! You're a right lil' superstar' she beamed.
I thanked her but I was unconvinced.

On receiving the mix-down from the technician I vowed to keep it to myself. 'This is going nowhere' said the voice in my head. My two friends however had a different idea. I gave in to their request, uploaded the track onto YouTube and posted it to Facebook. In what seemed like no time I had 50 shares and countless inboxes coming in from left, right and centre.
After hitting the hundred view mark in an hour my friend messaged me.
'Now that wasn't so hard was it?'

( The video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UjBepV1w1s )

The whole music agenda was short lived however. GCSE's came on to the scene and I wasn't about to put my grades second for anything. Something had to give and so I put music on hold. With the passion I had accumulated for rap I simply couldn't juggle both, not at that age anyway. I'd spend hours writing and my father warned me that my grades might suffer because of it. I remember huffing and puffing & literally blowing the house down at this. I had convinced my parents to buy me a top quality mic, recording software and producing software and here they were telling me to take a break.
'It's your choice' my Dad said.

In the end I did decide to take a break  and I'm glad I did as the raps I wrote two years ago are good skeletons and now that my English skills have improved considerably I can develop them further and play around with the wording. I can finally get some flesh and substance onto those bones I used to call lyrics.

***

Two years on from deciding to break and queue my good friend Shimzie. It didn't take us long to decide that we wanted to make a track together so we got planning.
We picked a day to record and that was that. Walking towards the studio I informed Shimzie of how nervous I was.
'Don't worry'. He told me, 'We're gonna make a banger'
I nodded and smiled.

The track was soon recorded but we needed a release date. The 1st of March 2013 was suggested to us and we agreed to it.
Up went the statuses, out flew the broadcasts but we failed to realise one thing - we had given ourselves a WEEK to promote. That week had to be one of the craziest weeks of my life - we literally didn't sleep. Two days after deciding on the 1st March over 200 people had '#FFFLadies' in their blackberry messenger names and there was a constant 'What does #FFFLadies mean?' chat popping up from different contacts. The street team were ready, my sister was already on her flight to Nigeria where further promo would be carried out and most of the #FFF crew had their broadcoasts saved in 'Memo's' ready to be sent out.
I hadn't uploaded a rap in two years and my main concern was that I really hoped listeners thought the wait was worth it.
Shimzie and myself held our breath and on the 1st March I clicked the all important 'upload' button on YouTube.

...and here it is:
Fyne Ladies by Cilla Casey and Shimzie
Fyne Ladies on YouTube
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZAbk_4u6PE )

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Twitter hashtag: #FFFLadies

Hope you like :)
Love Cilla xx