Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Give Me Confidence

Hey !
Before I launch into the subject of this blog I would like to say Happy New Year ! It's quite overdue but better late than never eh? I genuinely hope you had a great Christmas and got what you needed.

In addition to this, I would like to apologise for the delay of this post. I've been extremely busy with projects and music alike and though that is a poor excuse I hope that you understand.
I've read ALL of the emails sent to me and the forecast is that I'm going to be a very busy girl blogging about all your suggested topics. Thank you to those that have emailed and if you haven't emailed already then feel free to. I always try to help.

Give Me Confidence

I was walking past KFC the other day and I noticed their advert for the snackbox. I noticed how much food came in a snackbox and I suddenly noticed that I was very hungry. I was with a friend and as the smell of southern fried chicken wafted through the winter air we found ourselves turning to the right and walking right into the shop. I ordered, paid and opened my box.
I probably blinked about a hundred times in shock as it seemed as though they had given me two southern fried ants and some potato toothpicks. I knew there must have been some mistake. I wasn't sure if maybe a hamster had ordered before me but I was certain there must have been some mix up. The portion was so small ! I had fallen into the ever-so-easy-to-fall-into trap of false advertising. No grudges though. They need to reel customers in somehow don't they?

Can I give you confidence? No, no I cannot. I could put together a concoction of compliments and praises to make you temporarily feel like a goddess but I cannot give you confidence. In fact, any website, forum or advert that promises to give you confidence is lying. Confidence lies within yourself. It sounds cliche but it's 100% true. I refuse to sell anyone the dream of 'instant confidence', if you want to be sold dreams then go and buy a KFC snackbox. Please remember of course that I love KFC and there is no hatred here towards the franchise whatsoever.

One of the questions I get asked the most is 'How are you so confident?'. Confidence is beautiful, it enables you to value yourself. You know you've hit that level of confidence when someone calls you by a derogatory term such as 'bitch' and something clicks in your mind because you realise you're worth so much more than that. You realise that that label simply isn't for you. If you feel a niggling tickle in the corner of your mind when someone attempts to mock you then you may be more confident in yourself than you think..

Confidence takes time to build up. No constructed building has ever been built from the top downwards right? Confidence building is a process and unfortunately it can be very slow for some people.
I'm in no way a 'little Miss Perfect life' myself. I've had my fair share of insecurities too and it was only when the very foundations of my own confidence were shaken that I began to truly value myself.

I'm more confident in myself than I've ever been in my whole entire life and it hasn't been a pretty journey to get to this stage.When a personal condition is taken and moulded into a disgustingly deformed basis for chit-chat then it becomes a doddle to develop your confidence. Upset walked past my soul with its heavy luggage and carried on walking because there is simply no room for misery at the inn that is my heart.
If people are talking about you then face it, you must be interesting. Businesses spend MILLIONS trying to generate a buzz about their product. Got people talking? Who knows, there could be some business initiative there..

'Don't judge a book by it's cover'. Interesting statement that isn't it? One we all learnt from a young age but one we consistently fail to obey. It's very easy to look at someone, think something and voice your opinion to others but the stark reality is that unless you're their family member you're very unlikely to know the true extent of their situation.
 If you lack confidence it may be because you have been judged before by someone or a group of people before they have had a chance to get to know you, someone may have commented on something and you may have taken it to heart, letting is slowly rot your happiness. Don't get upset and insecure. Assist them. Open the book that is yourself and let your inner confidence radiate out of the very binds of your life novel.

Here's an idea. If you were a market seller and wanted to sell a new fruit to tough customers, you might open the fruit, talk about it, give the customer a smell of it and offer a few recipe's. You wouldn't just let the customer go. You, as a seller may have lacked confidence at first when no one wanted to know but once the fruit becomes a best seller simply because you've presented it well and shown what it's all about then you'll be pleased.

Try it out : Fake a business pitch and sell yourself. Really sell yourself. I have no doubt that there are least 50 positive things you can say about yourself. Recognise these and develop on them, start your own journey to gaining confidence.

Take a deep breathe and recite a polysyndetic list of as many positive features of yourself you can think of until you run out of breath. For example : I am beautiful AND talented AND courageous AND assertive AND ambitious AND confident..
When you run out of breath reflect on it.

Quick thought : Who are you most confident with? Why? What do they recognise in you that others don't? Take the confidence you have around that person and nuture it. Grow it until everyone else can see it.

Confidence can never be given to you. Know that. You have to grow and develop it yourself.

The coming statement is a warning. Do NOT be fooled by smiles and kind talk. There are venomous tongues wagging mechanically, determined to lick the concrete foundations of your confidence with their acidic saliva until there is nothing left of it but a small mound of eroded rock.

Once you figure out who the tongues belong to, don't hate them. I repeat, don't hate them. Pray for them, pray for that harsh acidity to be neutralised and pray for God to bless them. If they have time to be intent in knocking your confidence then you need to have time to pray for them. Spend as much time on them as they're spending on you. Fair exchange.
Thanks for the emails. I had fun writing this particular blog.
My new email is cillacasey@live.co.uk and it's specifically for my blog :)
Feel free to email me for advice or just for a chat.

Oh yeah and follow if you liked. @CillaCasey

As ever girls, stay beautiful.

Love Cilla xoxoxo